Y’all. Lent could not come at better time! Ok – not that there’s a choice on when it comes around, but I NEED LENT right now in the worst way.
It has been a season of busyness, heavy emotions, and stress. I have found myself praying “God help me!” more than ever. And Lent is the perfect reason for me to recharge and refocus. Sometimes ya just need a reason to pull it together, right?
And I NEED to pull it together. So, I’m trying. I made a list of the things I pray “God help me!” about:
- – my health
- – my house clutter
- – the twins’ behavior
- – productivity
- – self-care
- – reconnect with Him
Being the schedule-loving, type A-ish nerd that I am, I created myself a little Lent calendar with a small way to tackle each of these areas every day: Bible reading from the Daily Office Lectionary, a workout schedule, little ways I can do something to pamper myself, something to organize in the house, and one other thing . . .
The twins have always had difficulty with self-control and impulse-control. Due to their environment before coming to live with us, they seek out ways to do what feels good them in the moment. They do not think through consequences. They do not usually seek out doing something we would consider a “good” behavior. Usually, it looks a lot like stealing, lying, deceiving, disrespecting, dishonoring, and entitlement. I am not trying to be harsh, just real.
Their behavior has taken its toll on me once again. I am at my wit’s end. Yesterday I was telling myself, “You have done everything you can. You have loved them, taught them, guided them, made them face consequences … You have done it all and you can’t make someone change who doesn’t want to. Stop blaming yourself.” And I started to feel a little better. But then, I heard a response:
You have not done everything – you have not prayed diligently for their hearts to change.
Ouch. Ok God, I hear you.
My grandmother prayed every day for 18 years for my dad. I could certainly start by praying for the twins for 40 days, right?
So, I will. Each day of Lent I will pray for their hearts to desire what is just and good. I will pray for their faith, integrity, kindness, discretion, righteousness, salvation, love, humility, and more.
I am looking forward to this time of healing, connecting, and growing. What’s your plan for Lent?