When we first began this path of missions, it was thrilling and invigorating. The idea of selling nearly everything and making the extreme life change to move to Haiti was crazy, yet comforting. Our cup runneth over – great adventure and pleasure in following God’s call was bubbling up inside us, spilling over onto all who would listen.
And while there is still great pleasure and joy in doing this work, there is also great struggle. There is stress, sadness, sorrow, frustration, and questioning.
I found myself greatly overwhelmed from the weight of it all a couple of weeks ago. I paused the show Gary and I were watching to escape reality, and I lay on his chest sobbing uncontrollably. I spewed all the things that were rising up in me – anger and frustration at a Haitian friend being abused by her husband, sorrow for her and frustration at not being able to “fix” it, the constant stress of raising boys with attachment issues, the pain of knowing I was a much better mom to my daughters before all this, and knowing that I am sucking at wife-hood too. Add to that financial stress of being a small organization and not having ample funding … I was spent.
Bless my husband, he held me, listened, told me to wipe my face, and he spoke words of understanding and love into me.
Isn’t that what God does, too? He holds us. He hears our hearts and minds (whether we want him to or not), he understands and speaks love into us.
It doesn’t matter if you’re living in Haiti or Dubai. We all have a mission in our life and we all carry the burdens of living out that mission. It isn’t easy. But they never said it would be, did they?
It is so easy to be weighted down by it all, but we must hold strong. And, by that, I don’t mean overwork or overrun yourself. I mean that we must go on, but we must also take the time we need to reconnect to our soul, our God, our family, our friends, and the things that fill us up. If we don’t, we cannot GIVE of ourselves – our gifts, our love, and our mission.
What is it that is causing you a burden, a stress, a feeling of overwhelm? If we all shared in the comments and committed to praying for someone else who comments, I know that we would all feel a little lighter. So go ahead, share … I promise to say a prayer for you today!